Enlightened

For the longest time, I've been feeling pretty depressed and upset by the fact of my problem. Sometimes I would wake up in the morning, lie there in bed and just think. Or even when Im sitting on the train; I would just think. And in doing so, I become very emotional. Everytime I think of that touchy subject, I just cant help but get a little sad. How I'll never be able to have what a part of me wanted. How I'll probably never be able to marry and have a family. How it would hurt me to taint another's perfect life with my disablities. How I have questioned God and yet still no answer. Why did He do this to me? Is there a great picture that im missing? Is this one of my purpose in life? So many unanswered questions. But I've a bit of hope now. After attending the Passion Conference 2008 in LA, I've come to realize that my pain is nothing compared to those in greater need. I've learned that my 'problem' is all part of God's plan; he's not done just yet, there is much more to be done. I really gave myself away; or at least I hope I gave it to God. I've come to understand that in order for me to put closure on this is to really accept God (For, I'll have to admitt, I really havent), I need the holy spirit to come into my heart and change me. I pray that God would really change my life; that he'll grab hold of the reins of my life and take charge. Whereever he takes me, Ill follow.